These things, carefully learn to do,

If tobacco you must chew.

Put a wad back in your jaw,

And try to hide it from your ma.

Never let it bulge the cheek,

Nor squirt the amber through your teeth.

Don't hold the spit-can with your feet,

And really try to be discreet.

Try not to mingle with the crowd,

When your breath is smelling loud.

Be sure to find a mate that chews,

Any other, you will lose.